Lately, I have found the sun to be dimmer, the moon to be waxing but never full. I am still, but stillness hurts. The discomfort of peace takes my solace away. In the heaviness of life, Schopenhauer speaks to me, “All life is suffering”.

But is it the true essence of life?

I consider myself a well-read man. I wandered in treks of Eastern philosophy and rested in rocks of Western tradition. Amid mental storms, I have often turned into deep reflection through the eyes of philosophy. Whenever thoughts of suffering pierces through my heart I go back to writing of great sages and minds. They wrap me around – like a warm blanket on cold days. It does not dissolve the question entirely, but it helps me get closer with my “why” of life.

*  At times, life feels like a tug of war between desire and reality. Desire to succeed, to win, to compete, and complete. Reality strikes with failures, setbacks, heartbreaks, false promises, and odds against our favor. Suffering is not just pain. It’s a constant friction between what we want and what the world offers. Contentment is merely a brief stop to a journey paved by suffering. Joy is nothing more than a temporal state where there is an absence of suffering. The world is mostly chaotic, melancholic, agonizing, and full of suffering. In this world, to live with desires is to want and to want, is to suffer. It’s an illusionary vision because the person is deluded by some pleasant experiences. If one of the greatest thinkers had to live life this way. I find comfort in suffering, not as a flaw, but as a design of existence itself.  *Inspired by the works of Arthur Schopenhauer.  

** As I close the doors of Schopenhauer, I knock on the door of Buddha. The voice here is gentle, but profound. The enlightened one, too, began with suffering. Dukkha. He accepts that suffering is woven into the fabric of existence of human. But suffering is not the end of life. Buddha believes suffering is the entry into liberation. Attachment, craving, and refusal of impermanence creates suffering. Don’t bow before desire, observe it. Arthur offers a resignation of desire whereas Buddha offers release. A soft detachment, not apathy. A way to live fully in the world, yet not to be consumed by it. **Inspired by works of Siddhartha Gautama  

Even though I walk the road of middle path and a pessimist today without conversing with optimists and existentialists, the road feels a bit incomplete, yet deeply worth travelling. I seek to accept suffering a bit more. I seek to understand it, to sit with it like an old confidant. Some days I lose to suffering, somedays I let go of the string. The sun may still be dim; the moon may be still waxing. But fullness was never the point. The whole point was always about the illumination. Life is not about being ignorant of suffering but learning to suffer well. With grace, with humility, with conscience, and above all with brutal honesty. In that honesty I find comfort – not exhilaration but contentment. The subtle peace of acceptance of suffering. The solace of life.